I LOVE to read!  Books are what I turn to first, when I need to learn anything or just to escape into another world.  I read to relax, I read to learn, I read to go on an adventure, and lots more! So, as you can imagine, I read a lot as I went through my separation.  And figured if there's any other book lovers out there, then perhaps you might enjoy this list!

So, here they are, in random order, books I lived and died by when I was first Separated and in the midst of chaos, figuring out what my next steps were going to be – and figuring out WHO WAS I AS A SINGLE PERSON ANYWAYS??

1: Mom’s House, Dad’s House: Making Two Homes for Your Child by Isolina Ricci. 

Our mediator gave my ex and I a copy of this book to read while we were going through separation mediation.  I found it fantastic at outlining and suggesting compassionate ways to run the basic day to day logistics of a two house family.  It was also the first time I got a more...

I remember it very clearly.  I had been a zombie since my separation and felt like everything was unravelling in my life.  I had no idea where anything was headed and I was just trying to keep my day to day basics together (ie. drag myself to work, keep my job :), be as attentive to the kids as possible, eat, fall to bed exhausted, repeat).  I realized later on during a routine physical exam that I was also iron deficient for the first time in my life, which made everything feel more exhausting and my body more like molasses.

My life plan for one long marriage was gone.  What wrench did that throw into all my other plans for life?  Where was my life heading now?  I was coming up with nothing, as far as new life plans go..so I was just putting one foot in front of another until (hopefully sooner than later) purpose and/or passion returned to my life.

So, through all that fogginness, one summer's day, I found myself sitting on the front porch and the kids...

Last eve there was a new moon – hooray!  It’s that time of month where we are asked to start anew – I absolutely love the possibility of that.  Start fresh.  Try something new.  Be a better version of yourself.

Whatever you’ve been struggling with, whatever is getting you down, whatever habit you want to stop doing.  The universe hands you another chance to start fresh, to try again, whatever you like.

When a situation feels hopeless and it’s impossible to see the right way out of it, I’ve taken this on as my mantra: Just Do The Next Right Thing.

And it’s amazing!

It really helps me drill down on what exactly I can do in this moment.  It moves me away from drowning in the hopelessness of a complex problem or situation that has no obvious positive outcome.

And with my kids, when they are pressing my buttons and I’m tired and just have little patience – this thought comes to mind - 'Just Do The Next...

A friend of mine recently told me she was separating from her common law partner.  They have two children together.  I've found myself giving her a lot of basic information and just day to day advice on the practical steps to get through a separation and she's been asking a ton of questions.  Cause - lets be honest - who knows what separation really entails until you are in it??  So I figured, I’d post them up here as well, for anyone who’s just new to the whole thing.  Here are 7 things that'll get you started, if your marriage is ending.

1. Find a good lawyer for yourself: You need to know your legal rights.  From there you can make decisions on what would be fair for your family’s situation.

2. Find a great mediator for you both: In my experience, a mediator is almost more important than your lawyer.  Especially, if you and your ex really aim to have an amicable split.  The mediator can essentially write up your separation...

After my separation I literally fell off the map...for years!

I hardly kept up with any of my old friends, and even when I did, the contact or the communication was very brief and usually inconsistent.  Thinking back on it, I felt a lot of shame and anger and grief about my marriage ending and how my friends would take me and what they would think!  (Honestly: I was also flat out overwhelmed with just basic day to day things like raising kids and working full-time.)

And so, apparently, my way of working through all those feelings (while keeping a job and raising good kids) was to become a bit of a hermit, and re-discover myself in solitude.

As in, what was it like to be me, with as little outside influence as possible.

I had to really get confident and straight about what was working and what needed to be let go of.  I needed to break it all down, way back to the very beginning, and just find myself again.  Or actually, find myself completely for the first...

The first year after separation is the hardest, simply because of all the changes that need to be weathered!  Whether you initiated the split or not, life is definitely different than it was when you were married.  So, here’s my take on 10 things that helped me get through that first year, and into the future:

1 My kids: Honestly, their love for me was really healing.  Their love for me and their energy and excitement for life, carried me through some rough times.  It was trans-formative.  It still constantly inspires me to bring my best self to my life – for them.

2 Old resurrected hobbies: Doing more of the things I enjoyed and rediscovering long lost hobbies or activities I hadn’t done in years, made me happy.  It was sort of the start of finding myself, in-amongst all the drama and going on around me with regards to my separation.

3 My routine: Being needed really helped keep me going.  Whether it be at work, or for...